I saw Magic Mike today for um… research purposes. Was it well written? No. Did the male and female lead have any chemistry whatsoever? No. Did it have a satisfactory ending? No. Did I like it?
There was man booty in it. And Channing Tatum is probably one of the most physically perfect men I have ever seen. He’s got beautiful lips, and eyes and …. sigh… everything. But as yummy as he is he just doesn’t do it for me.
So in honor of Gratuitous Man Monday I’m going to share with you my list of men that I would sell my mama for.
1 The Rock. AKA Dwayne Johnson. I fell in love with this man when I was fourteen years old. Not a girly crush. Not an ‘Oh I think he’s hot.’ But in total absolute LOVE LURVE LOOVVEE. Up until that point boys had merely existed. I had crushes on some, even liked others but when I saw The Rock on Smackdown asking the world if they could smell what he was cooking I was a goner. He was a man. A thick muscular man with pretty brown skin and perfect white smile and calves. Gorgeous calves! (I hate men with chicken legs.) I didn’t even like wrestling but I watched every damn show just for a glimpse of him. I bought his poster and even read his biography cover to cover. I’d watch him talk and get all flushed. He was my first and only celebrity crush and if it came between saving him or my mother from a burning building I’d have to think about it for a little while.
2. Simon Baker. I’m not usually a fan of blond men. But this man is so DREAMY. He’s the kind of guy you want to wake up looking at for the rest of your life.
3. Old School Hottie Marlon Brando. Because before he began a love affair with food he was pretty damn yummy himself.
What about you? What man makes your heart beat?