In fiction as in life …?

Thea today, writing from the grandbaby’s house where I’m caretaking him for the next few weeks, and I’m still crazy in love — even after 15 months. Which feeds into the next momentous month in which John and I celebrate our 47th anniversary. It’s kind of staggering to think it’s been that many years. But even more so, how we met, about two years before that, just after he’d just graduated college and we separately both attended to a party at the home of my friend Sharon in Newark, NJ.

I like to think ours was a grand love story, but maybe, because we were an interfaith couple (no small thing back then), it was more about rebellion. Or our just being together and figuring all of it out as we went.

Cut to ten years later. We were living in Brooklyn. I was pregnant out to the there with my eldest son. We were at a performance of Trelawny of the Wells at Lincoln Center. In the break between the first and second act, we were milling in the lobby, and a woman approached me. “Is your name Thea?”

I said yes. She told me her name and asked if I remembered her. I did. She was a friend Sharon’s and we’d hung out several times, no more than that, back in the days after that party at Sharon’s house. But I hadn’t seen her in more than ten years, and I’d not been in contact with Sharon either after John and I married.

She said, “Sharon is dead.”

Last thing I expected to hear. The words exploded like a bomb, chilling me to the bone. Sharon had died of complications of Type 1 diabetes. She couldn’t have been more than 35 years old.

“I thought you should know,” she said And then she was gone, leaving me devastated. And I couldn’t find her in the audience or after, and I never saw her again.

I still get chills thinking about it. How did she recognize me after all that time, AND that pregnant?
How did it happen this one night she and I were separately in the audience and she saw me, she knew me — and felt confident enough that I was who she thought I was to approach me? And how could she just disappear, never to be seen again?

I’ve often thought that incident would make a terrific scene in a book. Except for the fact she vanished. In a book, she’d have to return at some point because otherwise the reader would be questioning where she went and what her purpose was. It’s not enough just to have a character deliver bad news and exit right. There has to be some reason, some driving motivation, everything interconnected, all ends tied up.

Fiction is not life. Life is random. That moment at Lincoln Center was random — but was it? It haunts me even after all these years because it all seemed so coincidental — and yet it wasn’t. Still, I wonder … was she an angel sent perhaps by Sharon to tell me I was being watched over? I only recently even considered that. And if so, what signs have I missed all these years not contemplating that possibility? Or was it just a really intriguing idea to springboard a plot for a novel I have yet to write?

Of course that would be my first thought. Wouldn’t it be yours?

Or is there more to it than that?

Still and all, at this anniversary time of the year, I remember Sharon. I can close my eyes and see her just as she was, a pretty red-headed twenty year old, bedeviled but never beaten down by the disease that would take her life. But back then, at that party that night, without knowing it, by inviting John Devine, she gave me my future and my life.

What do you think? Was it a coincidence? Meant to be? An angel? A figment of my imagination? Have you ever had a moment like that?

Thea Devine is the author of 27 erotic historical and contemporary romances, five of which have just been reissued in Kindle editions. and nearly a dozen novellas. She’s been named a Romance Pioneer by Romantic Times, and is currently working on a new erotic contemporary novel.

Blogs to Help Enhance your Work by Katy Lee

Writing fiction is more than getting your character from point A to point B. Your character needs to experience the world and everything in it just as we do in our everyday lives. Our days are filled with intrusions like weather and sickness, but there are also things in the world that have the ability to cultivate us like the arts and architecture around us…most times when we’re not even looking for it.

Now I could spend a lifetime reading and studying the things in our world just so I can write them into my stories, but if I did I’d never get anything written. As much as I would love to spend my days at the library, or better yet, traveling the world to experience everything in it, it’s just not possible. But I also can’t neglect the fact that these things exist in my life and in the lives of my characters. So what do I do?

Well, while I wait for my cruise tickets to come in the mail, I have found a group of blogs that offer little tidbits of information a little at a time. Ideas and information that I can file away to use in moments where my stories are flat and are in need of some excitement or detail.

So today I wanted to share some of these go-to blogs that help enhance my work. I hope there is something in here for you, too!

1)      http://www.redwoodsmedicaledge.com/

The Redwood’s Medical Edge Blog is medical facts for your fiction. Jordyn Redwood, a nurse by day, author by night, designed her site to help both historical and contemporary authors learn methods to write medically accurate fiction. She fields medical questions from followers, analyzes medical scenes, and posts on topics that can increase the tension and conflict in any story. No one person can be an expert in all things so she also hosts medical experts in other areas: EMS and obstetrics to name a few. Historical authors who have done research in a particular medical area such as civil war medicine are also featured. You want to know the protocol of an accident with injuries, or an illness a baby could have but go undetected? Jordyn is your woman.

2)      http://gailingis.com/wordpress/

Gail Ingis is known as a “Renaissance Woman” for her varied accomplishments. She is a professor of history of architecture & interior design, photographer, artist juror, writer, design critic, and founder of the nationally accredited Interior Design Institute. On any given day, her blog can be about how lighting affects a room, drinking coffee in a café in Portugal, or a description of a Victorian era chair. You never know when your character might need to sit in one. Whatever the topic may be, Gail’s information can bring a flare for the exotic into your stories.

3)      http://www.dailywritingtips.com/

Not just for writers. Whether you are an attorney, manager or student, writing skills are essential to your success. The rise of the information age – with the proliferation of e-mails, blogs and social networks – makes the ability to write clear, correct English more important than ever. (See my blog from last week about good writing here.) Daily Writing Tips is about that. Every day they send out a grammar, spelling, punctuation or vocabulary tip. And we can all use extra tips.

4)      http://www.romancingthepalate.com/

Finding a passion for food in every love story is R.L. Syme’s motto for her blog. I took a food class with Rebecca Lynn last year and she helped me learn how to use food like another character in my stories. She brought life to cooking and eating and encouraged us to incorporate the feelings we experienced into our books, so our readers could feel them, too.  *This blog is in the process of being changed, so not much is going on there these days. I’m looking forward to her updated site soon.

Until then, I recently found this one and it has the same premise:

5)      http://platedromance.wordpress.com/

Romance on the Plate: Taste the Emotions…Feel the Food. Here is a quote from the site to show how food helps to bring your character to life:

“He could not control his curiosity; he could smell the delicious aroma of caramelizing onions wafting from the copper vessel that was fired up on the stove. He stood upon a chair in the kitchen and watched as his mother evoked the magic of food……”

I feel like I am standing on that chair and inhaling right along with the child. Which is what we want to do for our readers, so they can get a taste, too.

The Unlocked Secret: Experience is key, but if you can’t experience it yourself, find a source that has. It will make your writing authentic. Check these sites out for ways to enhance your writing. If not these, I’m sure you can search for sites that meet your genre and style.

Question: Do you have a go-to blog or website for expertise or vicarious experience? Please share in the comments below.

And as always, thank you for your Tweets and Shares.

#1KID is Back to Talk Writing

Hello, friends! I’m #1KID as you may know me from visiting here last year when I told you all what the Top Ten Secrets from a Writer’s Kid were, or maybe you’ve read my own blog, Road2Gold! Either way, I’m Katy’s kid!

I’m here today to tell you about my latest experience with a book I just read. It’s actually a book I’ve been waiting to read for about six months.  I’m sure many of you can relate to the excitement of when a book is released..

But as I read it, I noticed something different I’d never picked up on before. The author had a thing with “head-hopping”. If you don’t know what head-hopping is, then let me fill you in: Head-hopping is where the Point Of View (Or POV) all of a sudden changes. One paragraph you’re feeling what the heroine is feeling, then bam, we’re in the hero’s head.

Head-hopping is impossible when writing a first-person book, (which is what I write and usually read) but seeing that this book was in third person, I found it happening a lot. Like I said,  I’d never noticed head hopping before, but now it was like reading had an antagonist of its own. It slowed my reading and really jolted me out of the story. Sometimes I had to go back and reread the paragraph.

Can I ask if this is just me, or is there anyone else who experiences this? And why had I never noticed it before?

What especially bothered me was when the author head hopped into the POV of a secondary character. It tripped me up and confused me. Do we need to know what a secondary character is thinking?

I realize I’m a new writer, but if any of you Scriblings can explain why authors head hop, please tell me.

As for me when I write, I put the squiggly in between POVs. ~ Sometimes I put random symbols.( ψ Ω ∞ ♠ ♣ ♥ ♦ ) I don’t plan to be published until I graduate high school, so I can be weird in my books. I write about angels, so a symbol of a pair of wings would be really cool.

My character, Vera North, with her wings

In the publishing world, what is the customary symbol to use for when an author doesn’t head hop and changes POVs? Thanks for your help and thanks for hanging out with me today.

Thanks Scribes for having me here today. But before I leave, I want to tell you that tomorrow is my first blogiversary! (Yeah, yeah… I made that word up.) I’m soooo excited! I’ll be celebrating in a few days on my own blog, so be sure to join the party!

Later!

#1kid

Affirmations and Good Things to Come

It’s March, (click here to find out what I’m up to this month), and one step closer to spring…and not a moment too soon for me! It’s been a cold and cloudy winter, leaving many of us with a case of the doldrums, myself included. PJ here, and I’m going to share one of my best secrets for chasing away the blues. I’m sure you’ve all heard of the practice of saying AFFIRMATIONS. An affirmation, according to my Sage dictionary, is “a statement asserting the existence or the truth of something.” When you say an affirmation, you say it as if it has already come to pass and is the truth or reality of the situation. So instead of saying, “I’m going to lose weight,” you should say, “I am in my healthiest body ever.”

I can see you rolling your eyes…stop that! Speaking your reality into existence is the surest way to find success. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between a lie and the truth. It is only processing the information that you feed it, and verbal and audio cues are powerful bits of information. Most of us have lots of “old tapes” playing in our heads from as far back as childhood telling us that we aren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough…whatever. Of course, this is all garbage that our brains have stored and processed and that our subconscious mind believes to be true. If you look in the mirror and say, “I hate how fat I am, I’m so ugly, or how could anyone love someone like me,” you are convincing yourself that all of that crap is true. And guess what? Your brain will have you believing it to the point of making it your reality.

So let’s turn that around right now! The only way to erase those old tapes and negative thinking is to re-program how you think and speak about yourself. It takes consistency and practice, but you can completely change your mind and transform your life by doing this. If every day feels like a struggle to you and you have self-defeating thoughts, saying positive affirmations is the cure.

Here are a few of the affirmations I say often, some on a daily basis:

“You are beautiful, I love you, and I’m going to take really good care of you today.” (If you look at a picture of yourself as a child as you say this, over time you will experience a very powerful healing.)

“I attract wealth and good health.”

“I attract healthy and happy people into my life.”

“I have all the money I need.”

“I am a money magnet!” (Don’t forget to add the “thank you, thank you, thank you” to express your gratitude to the Universe for providing for you).

And my favorite, “I am an excellent writer, I am a bestselling author.”

Always use present tense and positive words to give your intention impact.

It feels silly when you first begin doing this, and the critical you will immediately want to negate what you’ve just said as being contrary to your previous programming, but if you stick with it, say it like you mean it, and believe that it is possible, your life will be transformed by this one simple practice. Even more powerful, is when you write your affirmations down, put up sticky notes everywhere, and say those affirmations out loud as often as possible. You are supercharging your affirmation by including visual, auditory, and tactile re-training. The act of writing it down alone can get your brain to start processing the new belief and making it your new reality. As an added incentive, try creating a vision board, incorporating images and words that portray the kind of life you want and the dreams you’d like to see come true. I’ve been doing it for years, and trust me…this works!

Today’s Unlocked Secret: If you want to succeed in any area of your life, create positive affirmations and practice saying them every day. Before you know it, your dreams will become a reality.

So what do you think? Can you formulate an affirmation that clearly states the reality of what you want? Care to share it?

My Doxie, A Poem and Me

It’s snowing off and on as I write this, and I’m thinking of my two favorite other snow days when my husband didn’t have to go to work, and we had the days to ourselves. One of those days, while the snow piled high outside, inside, we listened to music and read and talked, warmed by the fire. The second time, we braved the elements to have lunch by firelight at a local rustic inn.

Those are romantic moments to me. I’ve often said we romance authors are all married to engineers even if they aren’t engineers. My husband is an educator, teacher of English and former high school administrator. But really, he’s an engineer. He’s linear, he’s a one-thing-at-a-time guy, he doesn’t sugar coat anything. He solves problems. Don’t all heroes?

Another favorite memory happened on a summer day when he wanted me to listen to an album of poetry — Billy Collins — so we drove to Litchfield listening to the CD, had lunch, and continued listening on the way home. After which I immediately wanted to start writing poetry because listening to Billy Collins just inspires you that way.
One of the poems, “The Revenant,” really resonated with me. It was from the viewpoint of a dog in the afterlife, finally confessing his true feelings about his long-time owners, words to the effect of — I never liked you. I hated the food you made me eat. I despised this. I never liked that.
You get the idea. A litany of dislikes and resentments. It made me look at my mini-doxie in a whole new light. Did she hate me? Despise the “naming of the parts” game I played with her? Hate all the silly nicknames I gave her? Did she resent my re-naming her “Munch”?

She was my mother-in-law’s dog, as I may have mentioned previously, a gift after the sudden death of mom’s then canine companion, Casey. The problem was, mom was ninety at the time, had macular degeneration, and was pretty unsteady on her legs.
So my Munchkin started out in pretty shaky circumstances: taken from her mother at 6 weeks, flown up to NY, put in the hands of strangers who then gave her to an elderly nearly blind lady who couldn’t properly care for her.

Something had to give; a year or so later, something did: mom fell, went to the hospital, and we took Midgie. At the time we had our beloved galumphing lab mix, Maggie who was about four times Midgie’s size. We honestly didn’t know what to expect. Mom always thought Midgie would be eaten alive by Maggie. But that didn’t happen.
They got along just fine. Midgie — or Munch — would chase Maggie around the kitchen-dining-living room and then hide under her legs so Maggie couldn’t find her. Or she’d climb up on the couch pillows dive bomb onto Maggie’s back. When they slept, Munch’s body language imitated Maggie’s. I really think Maggie taught Munch how to behave.

She was, as was Maggie, the Best Dog Ever. We were privileged to love her for ten years, and our beloved Maggie for twelve. We lost Maggie to cancer two years before Munch passed away a dozen days into 2011.
Munch’s was the hardest passing to bear, maybe because we’re that much older. And so, the first time in 45 years, we don’t have a dog in the house.
In truth, I’m a little scared. What will he think? What if he hates us? How will we know? And, after all, we still have memories and pictures – and a cat.
I really don’t want to wonder if Munch was happy — I think she was — I loved her to pieces, walked her, fed her, spoiled her rotten, made up songs about her, played with her — but a year after that lovely lunch in Litchfield, that Billy Collins poem continues to haunt me. I never liked you …
And still I wonder …
Did she hate me?

Do you have a pet? Would you? Wonder, I mean …]
How powerful words are.
How about you? Any pet stories to tell? Any poems that resonated on that level? Meantime, I’d seriously advise you to occasionally look deep into your pet’s eyes and try to divine what she or he is really thinking.

(You can read The Revenant on-line.)

Thea Devine’s books defined erotic historical romance. She’s the USAToday best-selling author of 25 historical and contemporary romances and a dozen novellas. She’s currently working on an erotic contemporary romance. She misses her Munchkin terribly.

Whether or not the Weather Plays a role in Your Stories by Katy Lee

Let’s face it, in real life it rains, and our lives go on with no underline motive because of it. But what about the lives of our characters in our stories? Can we just have a rainy day that means it’s raining and nothing else? Perhaps, but I think there’s something raw about rain that brings out the worst in us, which usually isn’t too far from the truth. So the rain can actually be a good tool to use to make your character, and reader, see the truth.

I think of my novel Real Virtue and how the rainy scene takes place in the book where everything becomes clear for my heroine and I don’t mean sparkly, but rather Mel’s eyes are opened to the truth. Truth about her mother. Truth about the hero. And the truth about herself. And even though the rain is coming down in buckets outside, her mind’s eye is now seeing nothing but sunny skies ahead.

Now it’s not only books I see this in but also the movies. Take the movie The Notebook where Noah and Allie get stuck in the rain and it cues their frustration and pain with their lost years. At first the scene is cute and funny, but it’s not long before it gets down and gritty, and once again the truth is coming out. And who doesn’t like a good kiss in the rain? (Go ahead take a look…it’s pretty swoon worthy.)

Another of my favorite movies is The Thomas Crown Affair. Now with this one, it’s not the rain that exposes the truth, but rather the fire sprinklers spraying down on the art work. As Nina Simone sings her appropriate song, Sinnerman, it’s the water that makes everything clear, once again, exposing the truth. (You can watch, but warning—spoiler alert! It gives away ending and there is some swearing in background.)

There’s just something about water and its cleansing capabilities that makes great fodder for literature and entertainment. If only a good rainstorm had the potential to clean up our lives and our world so well, but alas, that only happens in the movies. Ooh, perhaps my rainy scene will make my book movie material. Hey, a girl can dream, right? But seriously, my stories are inspirationals, and a big part of Christian fiction is the moment of truth. The washing away of sins or uncovering of lies, so the chains that bind can be broken and our characters can heal and move on. However, in truth, a good rainstorm is not going to take care of those things. That cleansing comes only from Christ, but the rain sure does make for a dramatic punch in our fiction worlds.

The Unlocked Secret: So I say go ahead and give motive to your downpours. Strategically place them to add turmoil and angst for your characters. If nothing else, it’s fun to torture them. But more importantly, I think a good downpour is a symbolic way to say from here on in, things are changing. Out with the old, in with the new.

Forecast 2013…

How many of you take horoscopes seriously? I usually don’t. In fact I never read mine unless I have a newspaper in front of me which is never. But while cruising the internet this week I stumbled upon my 2013 forecast. I ignored the LOVE forecast and went right to the CAREER forecast. Like most writers I have a day job. Some days I love my job and my coworkers and everything is all sunshine and rainbows. And some days I rather shovel dog mess than go to it. But I go to it every day. Day in and day out. And sometimes the monotony, the red tape, the silly rules get to me. Sometimes the stress from my day job interferes with my night job, my writing which has morphed out of just a hobby into a full-blown passion/obsession.

So sometimes I day-dream about shouting, “TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT!” My dream is to be able to not only survive from my writing alone but to be able to live well. I would love to be able to travel and see new places and never be confined to the few weeks off I get during the year. Over the past couple of years I’ve been truly exploring starting over somewhere new. New job. New life. New opportunities. But starting over is extremely hard. New people. New problems. New worries. (I like to think of it as a quarter life crisis.)

Of course I wonder if it’s at all worth it. And then I came across my horoscope.Which came directly Yahoo! Shine via Astrology.com.

You have been promising yourself for years that you would break out of the comfort of the familiar to pursue something more satisfying on a soul level even if it meant sacrificing the security of a paycheck. Well now is the time, Taurus. Something infinitely more gratifying is waiting for you on the other side of your current status quo, it’s just up to you to make the leap.Don’t be afraid to invest in yourself and a brighter future instead of always anticipating the rainy day. Jupiter thinks big and is not afraid to take risks if it means greater gains. Where do you need to take a chance in order to tap into greater freedom, success and possibility than you have allowed yourself in your work and career? Is it because you are afraid you won’t make money? Put those fears to the test before June, and you just might be pleasantly surprised. Plus, you’re never one without a backup plan, or two. It’s not about doing something reckless but it is about doing something deliciously daring, Taurus.

I’ve never had a horoscope be so dead on to how I was feeling. It was kind of like I wrote it myself.

Now, I’m not making any major life changes for the time being but it definitely gave me to something to think about.

I want to know for you all…

What would your horoscope say if you wrote it? It could be love related, career related, or just about life in general. Maybe if we all wrote our own horoscopes we would accomplish exactly what we wanted.

Donate Comfort for Sandy Hook Parents and Families

 

Hello all, Katy Lee here with a very special way you can help the families of Sandy Hook. Our author friend and past guest, Alice J. Wisler, has just released a comforting book for parents who have lost a child called Getting Out of Bed in the Morning, and she would love to get a book in every victim’s families hands. I personally don’t believe in coincidences, and Alice’s story of her own loss and grief of losing a child–and then her new book–sprang to mind when I was wondering how I could reach out to the families. Then I learned she was one step ahead of me. Here is her post from her blog:

On December 14, 2012, a tragedy too awful to believe could happen, did happen. Twenty-six people were shot at Sandy Hook Elementary School in the Sandy Hook village of Newtown, Connecticut. Twenty children died. Six adults died.

I know the devastation of having a child die.

My cousin in Maryland asked if I’d donate one of my novels for an auction to benefit the survivors—those lost in the anguish and sorrow. I signed one of my novels and put it in a mail to her.

Later today, a Facebook friend, Lisa Schorp, wanted to know if my new book, Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache, could reach the hands of those devastated. Her message: To tell them that God is near.

Suddenly I realized that maybe I should act on this desire of Lisa’s.

People could sponsor my new devotional, Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache and a batch of books could be sent with a note to the elementary school for each family who lost a loved one.

My book is written as raw and real; I know the pain of loss. There are also passages of hope, love and comfort. This book has been called a companion through grief. Eugene Peterson writes about it:

“Believe me, you will be changed as you read this book—a book of grief and comfort. Written without easy answers, but with gritty, courageous prayer, wrestling like Jacob with God’s angel.” ~ Eugene H Peterson, Professor Emeritus of Spiritual Theology, Recent College, Vancouver, B.C.; translator of The Message

“Hope stirs fresh in Getting Out of Bed in the Morning as Alice Wisler tenderly challenges the remnants of our grieving hearts to a healing journey. This book is a safe place to reconcile painful losses; a graceful guide through the uncharted and often complex landscape of grief and loss. Alice’s heart whispers an understanding that comes only from one who has tasted consuming heartache yet uncovered the hope of God’s sustaining grace.” ~ Jo Ann Fore, Author, Founder of WriteWhereItHurts.org

(Read more about Getting Out of Bed in the Morning here.)

If you like this idea and would like to make a donation, please send a check made out to me using the snail mail address below. If you want to stay tuned in and have updates on the amount contributed as well as when the books will be sent, etc., email me at info@alicewisler.com with the subject: “Comfort to Sandy Hook”. I will send out periodic updates.

Let’s make Lisa’s wonderful suggestion come true!

Mail your donation to:
Daniel’s House Publications
201 Monticello Avenue
Durham, NC 27707 USA

OR

Donate via Paypal on her site at: http://www.alicewisler.blogspot.com/2012/12/donate-book-for-sandy-hook-parents-and.html

Thank you, Alice, and thank you everyone who has helped in some way, from prayer to time and everything in between. You are blessed to be a blessing, and Merry Christmas to you all!!!

Writers Survival Guide to Menopause

Writers Survival Guide to Menopause

PJ here, and I’ll bet you’re wondering what menopause has to do with writing. For those of you struggling to put words on the page through sleepless nights, power surges (aka: hot flashes) that make you feel like your hair is on fire, or trying to focus through the foggy haze of hormonal upheaval, you know the answer to that question. For those of you not there yet, consider this a head’s up and a public service announcement.

Are you ready for a frank discussion about menopause? There…I said it. I’m still amazed how many people are not comfortable discussing this natural part of aging. It’s not like we’re trying to keep it a secret or bringing to light some controversial topic. If you’re squeamish about discussing such personal issues, feel free to move on to the solutions list below. But if you feel like you’re among friends here, read on and know that you aren’t alone. I’m here to share my experience and pass on what worked for me. (This is not intended as medical advice. Do your research and talk to your doctor to discuss your options).

MY STORY:  I went through “the change” a little early. Although I’m mostly on the other side of it now and I’m not even fifty, the age of onset varies greatly, depending on the woman. Symptoms started at about forty for me. Irregular periods after years of being like a clock in sync with the moon. At first, heavier and more frequent than normal, and then months of skipping entirely, causing me to sweat the possibility of pregnancy a few times—not cool when both of my sons were already grown and out of the house and I wasn’t married yet to my sweetheart. According to doctors, you aren’t officially in menopause until you’ve gone a full year without menstruating. Until then, whatever symptoms you’re having are considered peri-menopausal and will likely go untreated.

More than one way

 So then came the hot flashes. OMG! There were times I had a dozen or more hot flashes in a day, and I’m not talking about a little heat. Think of what it would feel like to put your face in a five hundred degree oven and keep it there for about a minute. Breaking out in a sweat every time I put my hands on a massage client when all I wanted to do was tear off my clothes and stand under cool water was totally not cool…pardon the pun. I began having trouble sleeping, waking at three a.m., tossing and turning until six, and then, just as I fell asleep again, I would have to get up. Talk about sleep deprivation torture! I did this for about two or three years, often getting up and writing for those few sleepless hours, trying to make use of the nightly torment and keep my sanity. But the next day sluggishness was brutal and added to the crankiness that was so uncharacteristic for me. I finally understood why those “old” ladies I knew as a child were so grumpy. They were in menopause! Even wearing a bra was irritating enough to have me worming it off in the car after a long day. I’ll admit, I chewed out a few grocery store clerks and made unkind hand gestures to trucks and SUV’s that cut me off or gave me a look…you know the look I mean. But it wasn’t until the worst thing that could happen to a romance writer happened to me. (Come closer…I’ll whisper this part…my sex drive went out the window.) That was the final straw. I needed help! Fast!

After first turning to the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter novels by Laurell K. Hamilton with mixed  and temporary results, I decided a visit to my Naturopath was in order. She listened to my woes, prescribed my constitutional homeopathic remedy (an entirely different post), and we discussed some natural alternatives to hormone replacement therapy (taking synthesized horse urine just sounded all kinds of wrong to me!) A note to you informed menopause researchers out there: What I did is different than “Bio-identical” therapy, which is another way of treating hormonal imbalances with natural substances that mimic estrogen and progesterone, but requires guidance from a doctor who specializes in that treatment protocol. Feel free to look into it. I’ve heard very good things about it. You might also find some great tips in a book called WHAT YOUR DOCTOR MAY not TELL YOU ABOUT MENOPAUSE  by Dr. John Lee.

This is what worked for me:

1)      I took over-the-counter herbal supplements called Estrovan, and later, Remifemen (the Estrovan worked moderately well for about a year before my Naturopath told me to try switching.) I found the Remifemen worked better for me. The essential ingredient in both of these products is an herb called black cohosh, which in combination with some other herbs and vitamins helped greatly with the hot flashes, night sweats, and mood swings. I took one in the morning and then I took the Night Time relief brand before bed. It worked far better for me than taking sleep medicine that made me drowsy and foggy the next day, or the chamomile tea that had me up staggering to the bathroom several times a night. With a few good night’s sleep a week, I began to focus better and feel less depressed and irritable.

2)      I also changed my daily vitamin to include 1000 IU’s of Vit. D, 1500 of Calcium and 1000 mg. of Magnesium. I found a single vitamin (Complete Menopause), that had everything I needed at my health food store  and took one in the morning and one at night. I also added an oil blend that included fish oil, evening primrose, and flax oil–another super combination that can be hard to find, but worth looking for. If you have any doubts about whether you are lacking in these vitamins, or if you are on medication of any kind, check with your doctor and have a blood test done. Many of our aches, pains, and physical/emotional symptoms are due to lack of Vit. D since most of us aren’t getting enough sunlight sitting in front of our computers a gazillion hours a day.

Note: Diet and nutrition are critical in feeling your best at all times of your life. Let me just say that sugar is killing us all, but that’s another post!

3)      I layered my clothes, wearing a tank top or short sleeved shirt and adding a light sweater or having a shawl to throw on and off easily since the temperature changes internally were dramatic. Shortly after a hot flash, I would get a chill and a desperate thirst. I kept a water bottle with me at all times, including next to my bed for those middle of the night power surges that had me throwing off the covers and feeling as dry as a desert. (For the sake of our squeamish readers I won’t get into the all too common “dryness” problem.)

Incidentally, things that aggravate hot flashes? Why chocolate, caffeine, and alcohol, of course. Could the gods be any more cruel?

4)      Believe it or not, exercise helped! Aerobic activity for twenty minutes three to five times a week makes all the difference on so many levels. It’s not uncommon for women in menopause to gain as much as ten to twenty pounds in just a couple of years due to metabolic changes, food cravings, depression, fatigue, etc. Those lovely curvacous sculptures the Renaissance artisans depicted were undoubtedly of mature menopausal women. Does the term “sagging middle” mean anything to you? (And I’m not referring to your pacing problems.) No wonder those ladies wore robes–no skinny jeans for them! 

There’s no point in white-washing it. Aging and change aren’t fun, but  they are inevitable, so if you want to come out on the other side of menopause healthy, you’ll fight the fight and make it work for you. Bottom line–staying active is being proactive!

5)      ON THE PLUS SIDE! Yes, there is a plus side, other than the obvious absence of our dear aunt “flow.” Menopause can bring on an incredible surge of creative energy (my theory is that our bodies are transforming all that “baby making” creativity that we no longer have evolutionary need of, into mental, emotional and spiritual creativity. It’s not surprising that menopausal women take up hobbies such as quilting, knitting, painting, photography, yoga, and yes…writing. There is a wisdom, peace, and quiet strength that comes with this rite of passage that is hard to describe until you get there, but even with all of the challenges—and maybe in spite of the challenges—we are transformed to a higher state of being. Eventually, we come back to being ourselves, only better. (Hold onto that thought gentlemen.)

 We may be a little less patient with foolishness since we’ve learned to value ourselves and our precious time, and likely we’re wearing a less than pristine earth suit (the shelf life of the human body is about fifty years—anything after that requires high maintenance and parts replacement), but more than ever, we are part of a sisterhood. I appreciate and respect women so much more than I did when I was young—a sign that I have grown in respect and love for myself over the years. Just remember, we are in this together and through sharing our experiences, we can help one another through the rough spots.

Perhaps you could ask Santa for a portable fan for Christmas. Happy Hot Flashes!

Sweet relief!

 Any other tips for beating the heat and surviving menopause, dear writers and readers?

 

 

No Substitute by Susan Johnson

Suzie Johnson’s debut novel, No Substitute, a contemporary inspirational novel, is out now from White Rose Press of The Pelican Book Group. Suzie is a regular contributor to the Inkwell Inspirations blog, but today she is hanging out at the Scribes. Please welcome Suzie as she tells us a little about her writing.

Suzie, how do you incorporate your real-life experiences into your stories?

I try to imagine how I would feel in certain situations. I recall emotional experiences and try to draw from them, even if they’re not necessarily exactly like my character’s situation. We all have a wealth of emotional experiences. When I need to express that my character is in pain, I think back to a hurtful situation. I see how much of it I can put into words. I wonder if I can give a tiny bit of that emotion to my character even though her situation isn’t the same.  

How do you come up with your shtick?   By shtick I mean your voice. That thing that identifies the story as belonging to only you. 

Most of the books I’ve written are set in small towns and have some element of the beach, the ocean, or sea creatures in them. It’s just part of who I am. I love the water and spend a lot of time at the beach. Granted, where I live, when I’m at the beach, I’m usually in my car because it’s not warm enough to sit on the beach and write. But I love my island and I love my beaches so I try to incorporate them in most of my work.

With that said, I am currently working on a couple of projects that aren’t set in small towns and don’t have beaches nearby. For one of those, I’m incorporating my love of nature. For another, I’m incorporating my love for things that are just a little bit different. They are two historical novels with very different settings. I’m excited with this new direction and to see how it all works out.

What was your biggest misstep in your writing career so far?

Not knowing my own process and submitting or querying unfinished manuscripts too soon. I’ve often thought I had an entire book planned out and querying on proposal would be enough. But I’ve learned that my process is not conducive to knowing my characters well enough with just an idea and a proposal. I need more time. I need to basically write the book first, because that’s how I get to know the characters. Then I can go back and layer in more reactions and emotion because I know them better. Often times I don’t know them well enough until I’m finished with that second draft, and then I go back and layer even more. Some people know their characters inside out before they even begin the book. I get to know them as I’m telling the story.  

Do you have a word related pet peeve?

I don’t want to offend anyone, so please note this is my own personal pet peeve and I wouldn’t stop reading someone’s work because of it. I’ll just skip ahead a few paragraphs.

I am so weary of reading the word tattoo in association with a character’s heartbeat or their shoes on a sidewalk. Those two references seem to be so overused that they’re falling into the cliché category. The other one that seems cliché to me is when a hero bows (in a contemporary) and tells the heroine her chariot awaits. I would love it if, every time someone starts to write these words, they would stop and think of a way to change it up.

What is your junk food of choice?

Chocolate, of course. Frozen miniature peanut butter cups are my favorite “over the counter chocolate.” By that, I mean chocolate that you can buy in a grocery store. I do love some of the chocolates at See’s Candy and Godiva, but they aren’t easily accessible. Lucky for me, or I’d be eating it every day!

What’s the most dangerous or risky thing that you’ve done?

Riding a really terrifying roller coaster that didn’t have a harness. Little did I know it was a mile long with 300 foot drops and every time it went up and dropped, I would rise up in the seat. The only thing holding us in was a little triangular piece of plastic over our legs. When my son asked me to go on it again, I wisely declined. 

Yikes!!! I can’t even imagine. Well, Suzie, I have loved getting to know you a little better today. Please tell us about your book!

Thank you, Katy. I have enjoyed being here. My book is set in the fictional town of Goose Bay, Washington. My heroine, Amy Welsh has come back to town as a substitute teacher. One of her students is the daughter of her high school sweetheart and the man who broke her heart seventeen years ago. When the student realizes her father and her favorite teacher used to be in love, she goes all-out in her matchmaking efforts.

There are a few remnants of my high school years in this book. A restaurant based on one my husband and I used to go to when we were dating, which is no longer there, one of the beaches I still go to at least once a week, and the drive-in theater – which still stands and is supposedly only one of six drive-in theaters left in Washington.

My publisher is amazing. I’m writing for Pelican Books and I’m just amazed at all of the work Nicola Martinez does. I’ve been impressed with her every step of the way.

After my book was acquired, it went through the editing process. My editor, Fay Lamb, suggested a few places where I could increase the emotion or clarify a scene. After that, it went to another editor who read for content, typos, ways to increase the pacing, etc. Those first two editors also work on formatting it for publication. After those edits were made and it was formatted, it went to another editor who double-checked everything one more time.

Nicola designed my cover. I sent her two photographs I’d taken. One is of a bluff where I like to walk and another of a lighthouse near one of my “writing spots”. I told her what my characters looked like. All of those elements were incorporated into my cover and I just love it.

Referring back to the question of “voice”, I think this cover is very well representative of who I am deep in my soul – a lover of the beach, nature, and all of God’s creation.

My book is available in both paper and e-format at Pelican Books website, at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Christianbooks.com. Thank you for having me visit the Scribes!

Suzie, I love the premise of your book! Second chances warm my heart.

And here is a bit more about Suzie and her story, No Substitute:

Suzie is a member of ACFW, RWA, and is the cancer registrar at her local hospital. Suzie and her husband are the parents of a wonderful grown son who makes them proud every day – even though he lives way too far away. Suzie and her husband live in the Pacific Northwest with their naughty little cat on an island that is definitely not tropical. You can visit her at the following places:

http://www.susandianejohnson.com

http://inkwellinspirations.com

http://www.facebook.com/suziejohnsonauthor

http://www.pinterest.com/suziejohnson1

 

First loves never last . . . except when they do. When Amy Welsh returns to Goose Bay as a substitute teacher, she has no intention of seeing Quentin Macmillan, the man who once left her waiting in the rain clutching her suitcase and dreaming of becoming his wife. Seventeen years later, his teenage daughter shows up in Amy’s class with plans to reunite her widowed father with the woman he has always loved. When the assignment is forgiveness and healing, will this young teacher pass the test?