Mother May I…

My mother, grandmother and my niece.

I originally posted this back in December of 2011. But I think it’s much more fitting now. Happy Mother’s Day, Ma!

My mother wants me to have a baby. Am I married? No. But that seems to be a minor detail at this point. I think she would be totally fine if I stole a baby from the hospital as long as she had something cute to spoil. We fight about this at least once a month.

“I want to have grandchildren. From you,” she says as she pokes me in the belly. ”When are you going to start thinking about it?”

“I don’t want children right now. I’m only twenty-six. I haven’t even been to Europe yet!”

“You’ve got it wrong. It’s only eighteen. It’s not only twenty-six. You’re getting old.”

Then my brother chimes in. “You know she’s never going to have a baby, mom. She’s too mean.”

Another one says, “I’ll give you lots of grandkids, ma. When do you want me to start?”

We all look at him in horror, knowing that he should not procreate anytime soon.

“But seriously, Jamie. What about that guy you were dating? He had a good job and you two would make such cute fat babies.”

“But, he was an arrogant jerk and he was weirdly close to his mother.”

She shrugs and says, “That’s small potatoes. We need to think of the big picture here.”

My mother is clearly insane.

She cusses like a truck driver, is thinner than me and always takes every opportunity to embarrass me by dancing in public but I love her. And one day I plan to capture of her crazy awesomeness in writing.

I like writing about mothers and will often model my fictional ones after real people in my life. (Thank goodness I don’t know too many normal people.) I feel like moms are some of the hardest characters to develop because just like in real life their personality shapes the way their children behave and the choices they make.

So here are a few of my favorite fictional mothers.

1. Claire Huxtable… She was a lawyer. She had five children, dealt with her wacky husband and kept that brownstone in Brooklyn spotless. She was like wonder woman or wonder mother.

2. Roseanne… Her house was a little more realistic. She was loud and brash and working class. But mostly importantly she was funny and I have to respect that.

3.  Joan Crawford… Okay, so she was a real person. But that movie Mommie Dearest made her seem other worldly and till this day I screech, “No wire hangers,” whenever I see one.

4. Amy Duncan… This dancing, singing, scene stealing Disney Channel mother cracks me up. She reminds me of my own mother. Amy never takes a backseat to her husband and I love that.

5. Colleen Donaghy (30 Rock) … She demanding, slightly evil, mean and I love her.

As for books I really like Posey’s mother, in Kristan Higgins Until There Was You. Who wouldn’t like a fluffy German mother who tried to fatten you up with comforting food. Sophie from Sophie’s Choice ( it was a book before it was a movie). Could you imagine making that choice?  And Cealie from The Color Purple. She put up with a lot of crap but still came out on top in the end.

Your turn! Like your mother? Hate her?  What’s she like? Got a favorite fictional mother? Tell us about her. Any and all comments are welcome.

 

Downton Abbey, According to Suze

Hello, darlings. Suze here. Can you hear my snooty, upper crust British accent as I write? Because today I’m talking about Downton Abbey.

Vulgarity is no substitute for wit.

Unless you’ve been living in an unelectrified, non-cell-phone-signal-accessible shepherd’s cottage in the Outer Hebrides somewhere (and if you are, please contact me–I’d love to hear all about your life!), you must have seen, or at least heard of, Downton Abbey. It’s a costume drama set in the early twentieth century, and follows the aristocratic Crawley family and their household staff as they all try to find their places in a rapidly modernizing world. It’s beautiful, and it’s brilliant.

It’s also gotten a little … boring.

So far Season III, which started a couple of weeks ago, is underwhelming to say the least. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I still love it, and I will continue to watch it. But if I were writing the story, here’s what it would look like:

Lady Mary and Matthew Crawley. Does anybody else feel like these two, instead of being destined for each other and deeply in love as the writers would have us believe, actually have about as much chemistry as, say, Bill and Hillary? Like the former president and secretary of state, something else–a potential earldom in this case–is keeping those two together. I’d break them up in the final episode of the season. Maybe kill one of them. But then again, I write murder mysteries.

Carson and Mrs. Hughes. These two need to go off on a seniors’ cruise together, stat. Can’t you just picture Carson in a Hawaiian shirt, Bermuda shorts, and black knee socks held up by garters? And Mrs. Hughes sunbathing on deck, the keys of her chatelaine glinting in the sun? Shuffleboard at 2:00!

Lady Edith. She is clearly suffering from middle child syndrome. Not as beautiful as her sisters and creepily attracted to burn victims and older men, she really needs something to occupy herself. I suggest that she either embark on a torrid affair with one of the footmen (not Thomas!), or beg Matthew to buy her a plane so she can become an aviatrix. I can also envision her writing smutty novels from a secret room somewhere in the castle.

Bates and Anna. I don’t doubt that their love is true, but will it survive Bates’s incarceration? Perhaps she should get Mrs. Patmore to bake a nice cake with a file in it, get past the warden by flashing some leg, then she and Bates can go off on a Bonnie-and-Clyde-like crime spree. To heck with being a valet and a housekeeper/ladies’ maid–crime probably pays better.

Lady Sybil and Whats-his-name, the chauffeur turned Irish revolutionary. Boring. Send them off to Canada.

O’Brien and Thomas. I really need to see these two scheming and sabotaging each other, but O’Brien seems to be embracing The Force these days. Oh, she’s making some threats, but I don’t know what kind of teeth are behind them. Here’s how I would handle: Thomas finds out about the above-mentioned smut novels being penned by Lady Edith and embarks on a blackmailing scheme. O’Brien snoops into Edith’s things and finds the novels, which she greatly enjoys. O’Brien must choose between joining in with blackmailing Edith, or destroying Thomas. Perhaps she can find a way to do both!

Lady Cora and Lord Robert. What do these people do all day? They dress nicely, I’ll say that. Okay, readers, who wants to take a shot at making up a storyline for these two. I got nothin’!

The Dowager Countess. I adore her. I would write her into every possible scene. Yeah, yeah, I know. She wouldn’t be nearly as much of a treat if we saw her more often. But I don’t care. I want her zinging everyone, all the time.

How about you? Are you a Downton Abbey fan? Have you ever wanted to rewrite someone else’s story your way?

Trust Your Story

Tuesday’s Scribe, PJ Sharon here. Have you ever been writing along, minding your plot and meeting your daily word count, only to have your character take you “off track”? Do you catch yourself swearing at your characters and asking them, “Where the *&%*@# are you taking me?” Well, let me tell you…I’ve learned to let them have their way—at least on the first draft. Let me explain why.

After several manuscripts and three or four published novels, I’m finally beginning to trust my internal process. It seems that my unconscious mind knows a lot more about my characters than my conscious mind does and if I let the story evolve organically—rather than trying to control every word that lands on the page—some miraculous things happen. Characters take me to the most interesting places, and if I go along for the ride, there is usually some grand reason they needed to go there. A piece of the puzzle is found, a character flaw is brought to light, or an opportunity for character growth presents itself.

When I wrote ON THIN ICE a few years ago, Penny’s story unfolded and jumped onto the page with such abandon, it seemed as if it was writing itself. I hadn’t planned on all the twists and turns that her story would take, but as it developed and each thread wove itself into her character arc, I had no choice but to follow and see how everything came together in the end. Amazingly, her journey turned out to be profoundly complex and beautiful. Of course, my problem was then trying to sell a story that had multiple subplots and more drama than a season of Dallas.

I had several published authors, a few agents, and even a couple of editors tell me the same thing…get rid of at least two—preferably three—of the subplots. I was told “One teenager could not possibly deal with all of these issues and one or two is enough for any one book if you want to explore them in depth.” So I tried to unravel my plot to remove some of the “unnecessary” subplots. The problem was that I couldn’t. I struggled for several months trying to make the story “marketable” by choosing one story line and then bleeding all over the page for 250 pages. I couldn’t make it work. Deconstructing the story seemed like an impossible task without it losing that special something that made it unique and authentic. Worse, was that it felt like I wasn’t being true to my character. Penny needed to go through all the trials and tribulations she endured in order to become the person she was at the end of the story. It was her journey—not mine—and I didn’t feel right about robbing her of any of the experiences that made her who she was.

Ultimately, I shelved the story and began writing Heaven Is For Heroes, which turned out to be a much more “marketable” story, but by that time, I had decided that the kind of stories I wanted to write were likely not going to fit into a specific mold and that I wasn’t willing to have a traditional publisher “brand” me (ouch!) and put me in a “box” (NO…Not the box!). Enter—Indie publishing.

One of the many things that drew me to Indie pubbing was the freedom to be true to the creative process and write what is in my heart. I’m convinced that there are readers for every well-written book—even if/especially if—it fits outside the box. Why should readers be fed only stories that publishers have deemed saleable? As it turns out, many Indie authors are finding great success because they are taking risks and writing something different. The upsurge in the “New Adult” market proves that readers of all ages want something new–stories that bridge the gap between YA and adult romance–stories about what happens when young adults are faced with real life issues that push them into adulthood.

Although I’ve learned to rein in my characters a bit before they take me too far off course or lead me into some corner I can’t get out of, I’ve also learned to trust my story to take me where my characters need to go to become who they are meant to be—even if it takes me places I never dreamt I’d go. I’ve gotten better at plotting and planning rather than flying by the seat of my pants, but the real joy in writing for me is when my characters take over and lead me on an adventure greater than my mind could have imagined.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart if you’ve already read the book. I greatly appreciate all honest reviews. If you haven’t yet left a review and would like to do so, you can click on the Amazon link below and write a brief line or two about what you liked/or didn’t like about the book. This helps other readers find books that might appeal to them and helps us authors reach new readers. 

So what did you think? Was it too much drama for one book, or did it somehow all work together to make a worthwhile and unique story?

If you haven’t read ON THIN ICE, you have one final opportunity to download it for FREE from Amazon this weekend. I won’t be renewing my KDP Select contract, so this is the last time it will be offered as a FREE download for the foreseeable future. It will be available Saturday through Monday, January 26-28^th in honor of National Skating month and the US Figure Skating Championships taking place this week.

Bookmark this page and stop back this weekend to download your FREE Kindle copy from Amazon

Although Penny’s dream of Olympic Gold is derailed by life’s cruel twists of fate, she learns what all fierce competitors learn…follow your heart, and never give up.

2013, Here I Come

Hey, all, Suze here. This is my last post for 2012 and, frankly, I’d like to thank all those people who misinterpreted the Mayan Long Count Calendar.  I’m thrilled to still be here, and I’m glad all of you are too!

So, instead of talking about the Year in Review, I thought I’d talk today about the Year in Preview. I’m not talking about New Year’s Resolutions. Those tend to get shoved under the bed with the dust bunnies around January 10th or so. I’m talking about what I want my life to look like a year from now — here’s what I see. May I say, the view is pretty fine! Not in any particular order of importance:

I’m a published writer! Woohoo! I don’t know what form this will take: indie, digital-first press, or traditional, but you will be able to buy my book(s) before the end of 2013.

I’m in control of my health! I’m consistently making good food choices and exercising regularly. I may even have run that 5K. Catch me if you can!

I’ve finished two WIPs — great stories that have been sitting around and just need a few weeks out of my 52 to see the light of day.

I’ve finished (and sold!) at least one more new novel! 2012 was not exactly a banner year for me in the producing-new-words department. 2013 will see a huge jump in my lifetime word count, putting me closer to that magic 500,000 word mark.

I’ve made many cosmetic updates to my home environment. You know all those little things about your house that bug you and would be easy and inexpensive to fix, but always seem to get put aside? That tiny missing piece of molding? New paint needed in the dining room? Loose knob on one of the kitchen cabinets? That stuff is all taken care of in 2013. Sweet!

I’ve nurtured my relationships and friendships. Because without friends and family, life is pretty bleak.

What does 2013 look like for you?

 

Why I’m Thankful Every Day…

Hi.  You guys know me as author J Monkeys, but as I sat down to write Saturday’s blog post, I knew that I had to do something a little different from my usual tongue-in-cheek rant because in addition to being a children’s author, I’m also a mom of very young school children.  My name is Jennifer Moncuse, and I live in Connecticut.

I live just about as far from Newtown CT as our tiny state will allow, but my twins will be starting kindergarten next year.  I have a second grader at home as well and today’s horrifying news of the heartless slaughter of innocents and innocence, practically in my own backyard, has shaken me.  I cried through some of the news coverage late this afternoon, watching on the sly because I don’t want my preschoolers to hear about children being killed at school.  How could I possibly talk with them about this in a way that they will understand when I don’t understand it myself?  I don’t think it is something that is understandable.

I had been planning to write next week’s post, due out 12-22-12, about why it was all right with me if the world ended on Friday, but I’m switching up the order and the slant because for a lot of people the world ended today.

In addition to sending my most heartfelt prayers to the families of those who lost so much today, I wanted to take a moment to be thankful for the wonderful things in my own life.

• I’m thankful for my wonderful, healthy children, their laughter, their genuine-ness, the opportunity to teach them about the world.
• I’m thankful for my incredible partner in this life, for his kindness, his sensitivity to others, his willingness to be responsible for 50% of everything, and for loving me just as I am.
• I’m thankful for my family – drama and all, I wouldn’t swap any of you with anyone else, no matter the reason.
  
• I’m thankful for my dear friends who really know me and accept me without reservation.

As I thought about all the other things I’m grateful for, especially the things, I decided that they didn’t really matter.  The house, the car, the job.  Maybe it’s easy for me to say that having a roof over my head doesn’t really matter, because I have the luxury of saying it under said roof.  There’s probably a lot of truth to that.  But on a night like this one, it doesn’t make the list, except as a safe haven for my kids.

Here’s my secret for today: However you understand God (as a him, a her, a them, or an it) take a moment to say “Thank you” for all the important things in your life, whatever or whomever they might be.   Hug your loved ones tightly and remember to tell them often how much you love them.  That way you’ll be ready when the world ends, no matter if it’s next Friday or more likely, some other day when you least expect it.

Going Giftless

Happy Friday everyone. Casey Wyatt here.

Being a writer, I’m all for thinking outside of the box. So this Christmas I made a radical suggestion to the adults in my family – forego exchanging gifts and spend the time enjoying each other’s company instead.

Fear coursed through my veins. Would I be lumped in with the Grinch and Ebenezer Scrooge?

Much to my delight, everyone agreed. Turns out, we’ve all reached the point where we all have enough things. To be honest it was a bit of a relief.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I like Christmas. But over the last several years, I’ve been suffering from holiday fatigue. The focus on buying stuff and the pursuit of the perfect gift eroded my enjoyment of the season. This year, our local Macy’s put up their holiday display at the end of September! What about Halloween? Thanksgiving?

Pish, posh – those holidays are road bumps along the way to the retail bonanza of the year.

Turns out I’m not alone in my idea. Last year, several of my fellow writers decided to give up gifts and instead donate to charities like Heifer International (http://www.heifer.org). They expressed joy in helping others. They all had enough stuff too.

The mood this Christmas is much more relaxed and I’m looking forward to kicking back and really enjoying the company of my loved ones.

What holiday traditions do you celebrate?  Have you ever “skipped” a holiday? And if so, how did you spend it?

The Bucket List

Hey, peeps. Suze here. There’s been an delay with my interview with Ghost Photographer Julie Griffin, but we’ll get her here soon.So, today I thought I’d talk a bit about the Bucket List. Even if you never saw the movie that came out a few years ago, I’ll bet you know what a Bucket List is: it’s those accomplishments and experiences you want–need–to have before you die, the things you can’t let go of and have always wanted to do.

Here are a few things on my Bucket List:

1. Ride in a limousine. True story: I’ve never ridden in a limo! I have three sisters and a brother, but they all had small-town weddings (back then, I don’t think there even was limo service within 40 miles or so). Mr. Suze and I had a lock-and-load-type wedding at a hotel. We got married on the waterfront gazebo, and had the reception right there.

When I told my mom and sisters about this wish at Thanksgiving, we came up with the idea of renting a limo (now available even in that little boondocks town up north!) and riding around to look at Christmas lights. So I’ll be able to cross this one off in about a month. Go Suze!

2. See the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall. Nope, I’ve never seen the show and I’ve always wanted to. This one is very doable, since it’s only a day trip away. And yet I’ve never managed to get there. Anyone up for a visit to the Big Apple with me?

3. Solve the last of the family mysteries that have plagued me since I was a kid. I’ve already cracked a couple of these to my satisfaction: Was my great great grandfather a Native American? I’m now almost certain he was not. My great grandfather either believed, or was told, or made up, that his mother had an affair with a Native American and that they both ran off, leaving him to be raised by his grandmother. That’s a nice, romantic way to explain one’s illegitimacy! But it’s also a big fat lie. My research leads quite strongly to the conclusion that great great grandma was a servant in the household of a prosperous shopkeeper and that great granddad was the product of a little intra-household, upstairs-downstairs nookie. GGGram did run off and leave the baby with her mother; that much of the story is true anyway.

Another family mystery I’ve solved is that I was finally, after literally years of research, able to obtain a copy of an archaeological dig report on some family land, confirming (and also disproving) some things my grandfather told me.

But the one that eludes me: Locating a family heirloom (an 18th century ceremonial walking stick with a whale-tooth handle inscribed to Joseph Bartlett), which was allegedly stolen by my great-uncle to spite my grandfather. It may have been given to a museum. I don’t expect to get the thing back; I just want to see it and photograph it. I think I’m just going to have to contact every museum in New York State. Will get right on that!

4. Run a 5K. Notice I said “run.” I could easily walk a 5K, do it quite frequently, as a matter of fact. But I’ve never enjoyed running. And yet, this one nags at me. Therefore, 2013 is the year of the 5K for Suze. Or maybe 2014. Definitely soon, though!

How about you? What’s on your Bucket List? How many things could you do in the next year? I’d love to hear all about it!

We Are Family

Happy Friday everyone!! Casey here.

One of the fun things about being a writer is breathing life into your characters. Imagining a back story, figuring out their goals, their appearance, and so much more. But my all time favorite act is creating the hero and heroine’s family and friends.

Often times, I don’t have to think too hard. They present themselves rather quickly and can be scene-stealers if I let them. Early on, I usually know if the heroine has siblings and whether they get along. Or maybe her parents were overbearing and smothering. Perhaps, they weren’t there at all and she’s been raised by someone else. Same goes with friends, colleagues and pets. My stories have them all!

Coming soon to a story near you!

When I think of my favorite books and television shows, I can’t think of a single one where the main characters don’t have family or friends in their lives. Often times, their loved ones can push their buttons like no one else. And on the flip side, no one understands them better than anyone else.

Imagine how dull and boring Little Women would have been if Jo didn’t have her sisters. Or how lifeless Stephanie Plum’s adventures would be without Lula or Grandma Mazur. Even Ebenezer Scrooge, super curmudgeon, has his faithful nephew Fred to anchor him to his past through his beloved sister Belle.

On the other hand, the lack of a solid support system is just as telling and can define the character’s actions and reactions. There are a lot of orphans in books – Oliver Twist, Cinderella, Harry Potter, James Bond, Heidi, Clark Kent, Jane Eyre, and Frodo Baggins – to name only a small fraction!

Granted all of the characters I mentioned rose above their orphanhood and went on to perform good and heroic deeds. But none of them did it alone (thank you Ron Weasly and Hermione Granger).

Gather round family and friends!

And that brings me back to family and friends (aka secondary characters). For me, secondary characters are just as important. Like in real life, we would all be lonely if we had no friends or family. We are social beings by nature. Even if your character is mostly a loner, there is usually someone (either human or animal) in his or her life.

If you need inspiration, <ahem>, borrow bits and pieces of personality from your family and friends. Now that we’re in the full swing of the holiday season, there are more people than ever around. If you don’t mind the crowds, people watch!

Life is boring without friends. . . and wine!

So remember, when you’re creating your world, populate it with more than just the hero and heroine. Otherwise, all you’ll have is an empty and lifeless world.

Who are your favorite supporting characters? And without naming names, have you ever “borrowed” traits from friends and family?

Three Chords, One Premise, A Dozen Changes

Thea Devine today, remembering how my mom loved country music. She had a really nice singing voice, and oh, be still my heart, she could yodel.  I mean, really yodel, with that back of the throat crick that you can’t just learn ( I tried).  And folk music. Mom loved folk music;  Burl Ives.  Susan Reed.  Names you probably don’t know any more.  Names I grew up with so of course, I was going love folk music as well. All that came to fruition in college when I met a guy and he gave me a guitar.  And book on How To Play.

The guy didn’t last.  The guitar did.  I painstakingly practiced those three major chords, C-F-G, until I was proficient enough to play “To Everything Turn Turn Turn,” and then there was no stopping me.  I mean, do you know how many songs you can play if you know three chords?   If you can figure out progressions?  Or learn tablature instead of music?

John and I lived in the Village when we were first married.  We spent a lot of time in folk clubs.  Saw Buffy Ste. Marie, Tom Paxton, Tom Rush, Fred Neil, John Hartford, David Blue — names perhaps you don’t know any more.  Names I grew up with.  I never stopped playing.  I don’t play well, but I love to play, learn songs, and write lyrics and chord them, as much as I love to write books.

It occurred to me that story premises are kind of like chords.  That you can play a dozen plots off of one premise just like you can play any number of songs off three chords:

(C)   the heroine is running (from, to)

(F)     her (ex, her past, her future, the  consequences of her actions, her childhood nemesis, her inheritance, her sisters, her stalker)

(G)    and complications (bad guys, the hero, her presumed dead husband, a                 long lost friend, the death of a sibling, a quest) ensue.

Add an A-minor — obstacles:  no money, trapped in a blizzard, electricity goes out, she lost her job, a parent dies, a serial killer is after her, all of the above — and voila.  The makings of a plot, which can twist in any one of several directions as you figure out who “she” is, what she’s running from, and which of the complications are going to prevent her from getting to her goal.

But I expect those of you who play know all this.  However, it’s comforting to fall back on when plot seems like a foreign word and everything you come up with feels like you’re duplicating every storyline ever written.

But, three chords: dozens of songs.  One premise, dozens of variations.  Really, it’s true, it works.

Do you play?  Do you write lyrics?  Did you ever think of plot in terms of chords? Does it help?

Thea Devine is the author of twenty-five historical and contemporary erotic romances and a dozen novellas.  She’s currently at work on her next erotic contemporary romance.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, darlings! Suze here, writing to you from the deck of my cabin in the woods. I woke in time to see the sunrise over the lake. A flock of ducks just came in for a landing on the water below me. A bald eagle just flew past (I never, ever fail to be thrilled, no matter how many times I see them!). And if I’d remembered to set up the coffeepot last night, I’d be enjoying a cup right now, making it pretty much a perfect morning. We make our own electricity here and must be frugal with what we have, so it’s an old-fashioned top-of-the-woodstove percolator for us–no Keurig machine!

I have so much to be grateful for, more this year than most, perhaps. So I’m making a Thanksgiving resolution: to live more mindfully and to practice gratitude in some form every day.

That being said, I’m thankful for all of you, my friends!

Now that the mushy stuff is over, how about a no-longer-secret recipe? I make my Black Friday stew every … Black Friday! I’ve never shopped on Black Friday, and don’t intend to (except maybe once as a bucket list kind of thing). It takes a while, but it’s easy, and it’s a great way to use up leftovers.

SUZE’S BLACK FRIDAY STEW

Pick as much meat as you can off the turkey frame and refrigerate the meat. Get a big stock pot and put the frame in the pot, breaking it up if you need to. Toss in the wing tips, and any other bones that people didn’t gnaw on (legs, thigh, wings), as well as a quartered onion, a couple of bay leaves, a few carrots, a few stalks of celery, and a parsnip if you have one. Fill the pot about 2/3 full with water, cover, and put the pot on the stove. (I make mine on a woodstove here at the cabin). Bring the water almost to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer for several hours. Remove from heat and cool slightly.

Strain out all the solids, discard, and return broth to the pot. (I find it works well to use two strainers—one with larger holes nested inside one with finer mesh).

Now comes the fun part. Add in:

-2 cans of cream of celery/mushroom/chicken soup, undiluted, or a combination of soups

-3 cans of creamed corn

-Leftover mashed potatoes

-Leftover gravy

-Leftover corn (or a can of corn, drained)

Stir to combine, and heat through (10 or 15 minutes is plenty). A few minutes before serving, add leftover turkey and heat for a couple more minutes.

Ladle into big bowls, and serve with a green salad and a loaf of French bread (I’m a fan of the Pillsbury French bread, the kind that comes in a tube in the refrigerator section).  Don’t forget leftover pie for dessert.

This feeds a crowd! If you don’t have a crowd, freeze the rest. It’s nice to pull out a tub of homemade soup for a quick supper or lunch on a cold winter day.

Have a wonderful day!