I originally posted this back in December of 2011. But I think it’s much more fitting now. Happy Mother’s Day, Ma!
My mother wants me to have a baby. Am I married? No. But that seems to be a minor detail at this point. I think she would be totally fine if I stole a baby from the hospital as long as she had something cute to spoil. We fight about this at least once a month.
“I want to have grandchildren. From you,” she says as she pokes me in the belly. ”When are you going to start thinking about it?”
“I don’t want children right now. I’m only twenty-six. I haven’t even been to Europe yet!”
“You’ve got it wrong. It’s only eighteen. It’s not only twenty-six. You’re getting old.”
Then my brother chimes in. “You know she’s never going to have a baby, mom. She’s too mean.”
Another one says, “I’ll give you lots of grandkids, ma. When do you want me to start?”
We all look at him in horror, knowing that he should not procreate anytime soon.
“But seriously, Jamie. What about that guy you were dating? He had a good job and you two would make such cute fat babies.”
“But, he was an arrogant jerk and he was weirdly close to his mother.”
She shrugs and says, “That’s small potatoes. We need to think of the big picture here.”
My mother is clearly insane.
She cusses like a truck driver, is thinner than me and always takes every opportunity to embarrass me by dancing in public but I love her. And one day I plan to capture of her crazy awesomeness in writing.
I like writing about mothers and will often model my fictional ones after real people in my life. (Thank goodness I don’t know too many normal people.) I feel like moms are some of the hardest characters to develop because just like in real life their personality shapes the way their children behave and the choices they make.
So here are a few of my favorite fictional mothers.
1. Claire Huxtable… She was a lawyer. She had five children, dealt with her wacky husband and kept that brownstone in Brooklyn spotless. She was like wonder woman or wonder mother.
2. Roseanne… Her house was a little more realistic. She was loud and brash and working class. But mostly importantly she was funny and I have to respect that.
3. Joan Crawford… Okay, so she was a real person. But that movie Mommie Dearest made her seem other worldly and till this day I screech, “No wire hangers,” whenever I see one.
4. Amy Duncan… This dancing, singing, scene stealing Disney Channel mother cracks me up. She reminds me of my own mother. Amy never takes a backseat to her husband and I love that.
5. Colleen Donaghy (30 Rock) … She demanding, slightly evil, mean and I love her.
As for books I really like Posey’s mother, in Kristan Higgins Until There Was You. Who wouldn’t like a fluffy German mother who tried to fatten you up with comforting food. Sophie from Sophie’s Choice ( it was a book before it was a movie). Could you imagine making that choice? And Cealie from The Color Purple. She put up with a lot of crap but still came out on top in the end.
Your turn! Like your mother? Hate her? What’s she like? Got a favorite fictional mother? Tell us about her. Any and all comments are welcome.