Recently I was on a date with a guy who told me that ideally he would like ten children but that realistically he would settle for five. I just blinked at him for a moment while mentally I was running for the hills.( If you think you’re getting ten kids from this chick you’ve got another thing coming!) My mother is one of ten children and I am one of five. I know what it’s like to be raised in a big family and sometimes it’s awesome and sometimes it stinks. (I don’t think my mother has had a moment alone since 1981.) I would NEVER want that many kids but that guy did because that was his version of Happily Ever After.
Everybody loves a happily ever after. It’s the reason we love romance novels. We read those lovely little epilogues and usually find the hero and heroine married with a couple of kids or a baby on the way and everybody is happy. Of course real life isn’t so neat but it still got me wondering about real Happily Ever Afters. I belive that people do achieve them. But are Happily Ever Afters the same for everybody?
I was having a conversation with a married woman who for whatever reason decided not to have children. She told me that people often looked at her with pity because of this, like there was something wrong with her. Society likes a nuclear family with the husband, wife, two kids and a dog but she didn’t want that. She said that people didn’t realize that she is extremely happy. That while her friends are struggling to put their kids through college she and her husband were taking trips to Europe and going golfing and having more fun in the forties than they did in their twenties. I truly belive she is living her version of Happily Ever After.
Donny Deutsch recently said that people biologically aren’t meant to have just one partner. That ideally(secretly) people did want the children and the dog and even the spouse but the spouse should live in a separate house down the block. This way both partners could have the stability of the marriage and the freedom to do whatever. He might be right. For some people that might be the perfect situation.
There are a lot of people who say there is no such thing as Happily Ever After. Personally I don’t know what my version of Happily Ever After is. I know that right now I’m happy. I have good friends, a quiet apartment, a job I like and the ability to buy as many shoes as I want without having to explain myself to anybody. Will that make me happy in a few years? Who knows?
I hope you are all finding some kind of happiness in whatever you are doing. Share with us. What do you think about Happily Ever Afters? Do they change? Do they really exist? What’s your version? Think I’m full of baloney? I’d love to know what you think.