Hey ~ V here. For Spooky Week, I thought I’d bring in a real live Vampire to tell us how to pull off the ultimate in Halloween Costume – how to be a Vampire. If you don’t know Eva Prim, you need to check her out, ’cause she’s quite a character! Click here to read her blog.
First, thank you so much to the Seven Scribes. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to participate in your Spooky Week blog. It’s my first guest appearance, and I’m delighted to spend it here with you fantastic ladies. As you may or may not know I’m on the hunt (No need to worry. That’s just an expression to indicate how serious I am about it.) for new friends. Girl- friends. And I’m more than happy to have all seven of you, if you’re interested, which I hope you are because I really want you as friends.
Okay, to show what a great friend I am I’d like to provide some advice on how to portray a vampire in a believable way. This year you’ll fool real vampires. I love a good practical joke. Of course, you might not want to laugh in the face of a real vampire. (That’s another bit of free advice.)
Now, contrary to popular belief it’s not in the costume. What you wear doesn’t matter in the slightest. Though do not, let me emphasize this, DO NOT wear those dumbass fake fangs or drip blood down your chin. No self-respecting vampire wears her food. And the fake fangs only make you look like a dork. And, real vampires don’t walk around with their fangs out all the time anyway.
The key to the whole costume is The Vibe. You must have it, give it, wear it, be it. You must exude Vampire. Be one with your inner vampire. She’s in there. Do some yoga or meditation or something, but let her out.
Here are the Four C’s of successfully portraying a vampire when you are actually vampire food. (I know. You were expecting four V’s, weren’t you? Well, here are four V’s that totally will not work: Vacuous, Vapid, Vaporific, and Vain. Though I know a couple vampires who come pretty damn close. Hey, don’t judge. Every society has its weirdoes.)
- Confidence. We have it. If you’re not confident, you’re not pulling it off.
- Coordination. We don’t trip, stumble, fall, drop things, knock glasses over, or bump into people. We know where we are in relation to everything at all times.
- Collected. Vampires always have it together. We never wonder if we’ll know anyone at a party. We don’t care because we know everyone there will want to know us. (Yeah, that whole vampire charm thing really helps with this.)
- Calm. We are cool as cucumbers (notice the C’s.) in every situation. Even if the building catches fire, we remain calm. (Okay, maybe not. Maybe we run like hell. However, we do it in a very coordinated way. We will knock you down or plow right through you, but we are very confident about the need to exit the building.)
So there you have it. Forget dressing up like some hack vampire. Just bring on The Vibe. It’s all you need.
As always I’m more than happy to answer any questions about this topic or any other. I’d love to hear from the readers. I’m always looking for more friends.
You can find me on my website at www.evaprim.com,