Don’t Hate Me ‘Cause I’m Beautiful… Did Samantha Brick Have a Point?

You’ve all heard of Samantha Brick at this point. Right? If not she is the journalist(and I use that word loosely) who wrote There Are Downsides to Looking This Pretty: Why Women Hate Me for Being Beautiful.” No I’m not going to join the bandwagon and trash her because we here at the Seven Scribes aren’t into that. But neither am I going to defend her words. If you missed all the hubbub you can click HERE to read the article. If you want the short version… Ms. Brick claims that because she is so beautiful she has received more than her fair share of attention from men,and because of that she has lost female friendships because women automatically think their husbands want her. AND therefore all women hate her for…. well… being so damn beautiful.


So maybe I am going to bash her a little bit. But only a tiny bit. And this is just my personal opinion but… if you announce how beautiful you are to the world, women are automatically going to dislike you. For the simple reason that it doesn’t make you seem beautiful on the inside.  The way the article was written, at least to me, doesn’t make Ms. Brick seem very beautiful at all. Conceited yes. Delusional maybe. And that all women who aren’t as lovely as she is are jealous, petty and insecure. Which we all know is not true.

As for her physical beauty,you can see what Ms. Brick looks like for yourself if you click on the link above. To some her beauty it is truly debatable.

Now to my point, which is that despite all the seemingly self-centered complaining, Ms. Brick may have actually touched on something important. And no it isn’t that beautiful women have it harder than the rest of us. But maybe that women tend to gravitate towards friendships with women who are like them. Think about it for a moment. Think about all of your close friends. What they look like. How they dress. What kinds of hobbies they have. And if all your friends are varied and different and fabulous well that’s great for you but it isn’t the norm.

Your friends are your friends because in some way shape or form they are somewhat like you. I’ll give you an example from my own life. I was on vacation in Florida with a good friend of mine last year. We were sitting in one of those little seafood shacks when a group of people our age walked in. They were all hard bodied and bronzed. The girls in the group had that kind of long blonde hair that looks fabulous even after a day at the beach. They wore bikinis and had belly button piercings. To most they would be undeniably hot.

But when I saw them walk in I made a face.  My friend who knows me too well caught it. Busted I said to her, “I’ve never had friends like that.”

To which she replied, “Skinny, blonde, all American white girls?”

She was joking but she was right to a certain extent. My friend and I get along because we share similar experiences. Unlike those girls who have never had to worry about going into a store and not finding anything in their size. Or having their thighs touch when they walk.(Blast you chub rub!) Or making sure their personality shines when their looks don’t always. Looking at the girls I knew they wouldn’t get my sarcastic jokes. Or understand an ounce of what I go through just to look presentable to the world. They just wouldn’t get me.

Or maybe….That was just my perception of them. Hey, I’ll admit it. I judged them without even speaking to them. They could have been my friendship soul mates.(I sooo doubt it.) But I would never know because I would never give them the time of day simply because of how they looked. And maybe that’s where Ms. Brick had a point. Maybe those women don’t want to be friends with her because she is simply too different from them.  For the most part (I think) women like women who are like them and that’s why Sunday school teachers and strippers aren’t BFF’s. Is it right? Maybe not but that’s how life is.

Your turn. What do you think about all of this? Agree with Ms. Brick. Agree with me? Disagree with me? What are your friends like?


21 thoughts on “Don’t Hate Me ‘Cause I’m Beautiful… Did Samantha Brick Have a Point?”

  1. You may have something there, Jamie. I’m happy to say that i now have friends of all sizes, shapes, ages, colors, and socioeconomic backgrounds. My mama taught me to llok beyond the outside of a person and see the value and good in everyone. I’m glad i learned that when I was young, because it has made for some interesting and fabulous friendships!

    1. As we get older I think we learn to accept different types of people, but I look at high school kids and sadly don’t find that true.

  2. Jamie – I think you are absolutely right, friends have to have something in common for the friendship to work. Sometimes it’s a shared history. But, I have a very good friend who’s tall, skinny, buxom, beautiful, blond and smart as all get out. She has a wicked sense of humor and people often completely overlook her awesome personality because they expect her to be something else. It’s sad. I don’t feel too bad for her though. After all, she’s tall, skinny, buxom, beautiful and blond! 🙂 And I also think that when friends grow apart, you have to work extra hard to maintain the friendship because you just have less in common than you used to. Speaking of that…I owe an email to a friend…gonna go do that now.

    1. I think people do expect beautiful women to behave a certain way. But more than physical looks I think its the vibe people give off that makes us drawn to them.

  3. Like Samantha Brick, I too am breathtakingly beautiful and have from all walks of life sending me gifts…the homeless man who wanted to share his coolata with me, the tollbooth worker who told me it was okay that I dropped my quarter that one time…oh, wait, are we being serious? Was that article serious? I thought it was a spoof. I showed it to McIrish, who said, “I’m not seeing it” about the author’s great beauty. But if she thinks she’s really beautiful, well, heck. Good for her.

    Can’t say that I’ve ever not been friends with someone because of their looks, good, bad or otherwise. I have a few friends who are striking, and I love looking at them, the same way I’d admire a beautiful house or garden. But don’t you think you stop “seeing” people’s outsides after you’ve known them for a few minutes? I mean, I’m thinking about my pals now and I can’t say that I’ve ever really thought, “Boy, Maureen has the best eyebrows! And Christine’s nose? Perfect!”

  4. Self-esteem is something I’ve always lacked so when I hear people like Ms. Brick throw it out to the world, I admire her – on the peripherary. We all know completely stunning, never a zit or ounce of cellullite in their life people – madonna, the woman who sat in front of me in church Easter Sunday and towered over a congregation of Utica Italians (I think she was Somalian) was so gorgeous I can’t stop thinking about her! And, she made more than one effort to speak to me so as I left the church, I truly believed we could be friends, the elf and dwarf from Lord of the Rings. Even my parents talked about her on the drive home. She was THAT beautiful.

    Like you Jaime, Ms. Brick’s lack of humility, her ‘woe is me’ blase attitude left me thinking there wasn’t a whole lot shining from within. I mean, she got the press she was after but like most people, I looked for the stunning blonde penning the article and saw her? I mean, seriously? I had a friend in high school who truly believed she was the bees knees. She was from a farming family and plain as the female in that American Gothic painting but my parents liked to joke that Holly had a magic mirror because she thought she was the hottest thing since sliced bread, though you’d think the lack of swarming boys would’ve informed her otherwise. IT DIDN’T. And while I dealt with every insecurity and issue known to teenage girls I wondered, “how does she get it and I don’t?” and the boys were calling my house.

    This is still something I grapple with and while I don’t resent people like Samantha Brick, I don’t understand them and never will. An over-inflated ego is something I have no tolerance for in my life and this isn’t jealousy. I’ve learned that everybody is dealing with something but some do a better job at redirecting your attention to what they want you to see/believe. The people I admire most have a smile for everybody and know the true meaning of humility – it has nothing to do with looks. Ms. Brick’s 15 minutes are nearly over, then she’ll disappear into oblivion again.

    Great post, thanks for letting me vent 🙂

    1. I love comments like this! And I know a girl who thinks she is fabulous and isn’t even and I can’t wrap my head around why she has so much confidence when beautiful ppl don’t. And you’re right. Ms. Brick probably was doing this for publicity. I’ll be glad when she faded into oblivion.

  5. I think we are drawn to people who we have something in common with. I don’t care if a person is tall or short, thin or chubby, young or old, etc. I like them for the person they are on the inside, not the outside. Putting my two cents in about Ms. Brick … she’s not all that … nothing to write home about. I think she’s a legend … in her own mind. I don’t know her, but I would venture to guess she’s her own #1 fan. Wonder if she’s a nice girl … beauty fades Ms. Brick, and what will remain when what you think are your great looks are gone? Hmmmmm …. ?

  6. Interesting article, post, and comments. I especially like PJ’s comment, and am grateful to consider myself one of her intenet friends. 🙂
    Perhaps we’re all a bit guilty of judging a book by its cover, so to speak. I gather a first impression about a person based on his/her appearance but then focus on getting that second, third and fourth impression, etc. (their speech, their views, their actions) before I make a judgment on whether we can be friends, friendly, or just civil. It’s a process, not a snap decision.
    Think of how many wonderful people you’d miss out on in life if you only judge a person’s potential for friendship on their appearance. Someone else’s beauty doesn’t take away from my acceptance of myself or interest in them as a person. I appreciate beauty in people as much as any aspect of nature.
    However, a person’s arrogance and prejudgment of me as petty and insecure definitely turns me off. Unfortunately, that’s what Samantha Brick did to an entire gender in her article. She’s a pretty woman, but I’m concerned she’ll miss out on a lot of happiness in life if she assumes no woman can care for her as a person because they’re threatened by her looks. I wish her the wisdom that will hopefully accompany age. Then, she’ll understand not all people are as shallow as she fears, and that perhaps it was other aspects about her that turned others off from her–not her appearance.

  7. When I first heard about Sara Brick, I was like – Really?? The delusional are alive and well among us. And whatever her intentions (tongue and cheek or serious), she’s had her fifteen minutes.

    I’ve always been drawn to people by their personalities. Since I work from home full time, I don’t often see the people I work with, so I’ve got nothing but their voice and behavior to go by!

    Yes, I think we all assess people by their looks – for about 5 seconds. Then, most of us, go beyond that and look to other qualities. Sometimes we click and sometimes we don’t, but I don’t know anyone who lives life only encountering (and dealing with) people who are just like us. That would make life pretty boring.

    My friends and I share mostly common interests and we like each other. Which is always important!

  8. Let’s all go and have tea and girl talk with Samantha. We will get to the bottom of this. And if I ever decide to renew my vows with Mr. Suze, I will consider asking her to be a bridesmaid. But only if she wears a giant satin bow on her lovely backside! 🙂

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