The Men Who Make My Heart Beat…

I saw Magic Mike today for um… research purposes. Was it well written? No. Did the male and female lead have any chemistry whatsoever? No. Did it have a satisfactory ending? No. Did I like it?

Hell yes!

There was man booty in it.  And Channing Tatum is probably one of the most physically perfect men I have ever seen. He’s got beautiful lips, and eyes and …. sigh… everything. But as yummy as he is he just doesn’t do it for me.

So in honor of Gratuitous Man Monday I’m going to share with you my list of men that I would sell my mama for.

1 The Rock. AKA Dwayne Johnson.  I fell in love with this man when I was fourteen years old. Not a girly crush. Not an ‘Oh I think he’s hot.’ But in total absolute LOVE LURVE LOOVVEE. Up until that point boys had merely existed. I had crushes on some, even liked others but when I saw The Rock on Smackdown asking the world if they could smell what he was cooking I was a goner. He was a man. A thick muscular man with pretty brown skin and perfect white smile and calves. Gorgeous calves! (I hate men with chicken legs.) I didn’t even like wrestling but I watched every damn show just for a glimpse of him. I bought his poster and even read his biography cover to cover. I’d watch him talk and get all flushed. He was my first and only celebrity crush and if it came between saving him or my mother from a burning building I’d have to think about it for a little while.

Jamie and Dwayne sitting in a tree K I S S I N G!

2. Simon Baker. I’m not usually a fan of blond men. But this man is so DREAMY. He’s the kind of guy you want to wake up looking at for the rest of your life.

What would you like for breakfast? French Toast or Waffles?

3. Old School Hottie Marlon Brando. Because before he began a love affair with food he was pretty damn yummy himself.

4. Javier Bardem. Because everybody needs a latin lover in their life

5. I haven’t ever seen an episode of his show but Joe Manganiello has got it going on. The man has got a twelve pack and if he let me I would count every one.

What about you? What man makes your heart beat?

26 thoughts on “The Men Who Make My Heart Beat…”

  1. I don’t dislike Channing Tatem but I know what you mean. He is perfect looking and yet somehow unmanly, if that is possible. As for Joe and Javier yum and yum. Happy to hear that I’m not the only one who dreams of Brado before the extra weight! Thanks for letting us know that the movie is really only good for a bit of man-flesh!

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  2. Agree with you on 4 out of the 5 above, Jamie! Simon Baker — I haven’t watched his show so I have not bonded with him… yet! I also saw Magic Mike this weekend with certain other Scribes and an entire theater full of women. The plot was lame to non-existent, the female “lead” clearly went to the same acting school as Kristin Stewart. But the visuals! Ooh la la! My only real regret was that there was not enough Joe Manganiello. Jamie, I would gladly help you count his 12 pack. One of us could count while the other hyperventilates.

    1. I can’t stand Kristen Stewart! I don’t get why she’s so popular when she clearly has no personality.

  3. I don’t know if you ever watched Friends, but there was an episode where where they talked about the five folks they could have an affair with and it wouldn’t count as cheating. My husband and I have just such a list. Here’s my five…Josh Lucas, Alexander Skarsgard, Shamar Moore, Ed Robertson and the newest addition: Joe Manganiello. I’m sorry Ty Pennington – I had to move you off the list in favor of Joe and his 12-pack…

  4. I believe the world is aware of my obsession/deep love for Jeremy Renner. but I’ve recently fallen in love with Tom Hardy (actor…the author was pretty great, too, though).

  5. I would love to do an entire review of “Magic Mike” and extol the virtues of all the hotness that oozed off the big screen into that front row and center Suze picked for us. You go girl! But I’ll leave the extolling for another day. Suffice it to say, I agree the plot was thin, the chemistry of the lead romantic elements bland, but oddly the male chemistry rocked. The scene where Matt McConaughey Is teaching the new stud in his stable to dance in front of the mirror was smokin’ hot and hilarious at the same time. And Channing Tatum…ooohhh that boy can dance! He was a visual feast unto himself. Not that I would kick Simon Baker out of bed for eating crackers:-) Yes, Suze and Jamie, Joe’s twelve is quite amazing, as were his…hehem…other attributes. You guys can have his abs…just sayin’.

    1. Matthew has never done it for me. I find him a little creepy, especially the he was grinding on The Kid.

  6. So funny how we can’t wait to respond to this post, Jamie! My lovers tend to be cyclical – and when I say lovers, I mean the men who lurk in the most erotic part of my imagination – and after 5 years, I tend to shake it up but right now, the “Do Me List” would include (hubby is well aware he has no say in this):
    Jeremy Renner, Rafael Nadal, Josh Young (Broadway wonder), Tom DeLonge and wait for it… Shorty Rossi. There are just certain things that defy explanation. Women are all about fantasy and imagination so no doubt, they’d all be as wonderful and respectful and body odor-free as we’ve made them out to be, right? Lester Holt, Jason Momoa and Alexander Ovechkin would be very capable back-ups. Gosh, I could go on and on and on…
    As for Brando – hell yeah and Simon Baker? 2 words: Something Different, he melted me with that one, he really did. Love the pictures, Girl. Monday just got a little brighter 🙂

    1. I don’t know half the men on your list but it was my pleasure posting pictures of hot men for you all.

  7. I love Simon Baker and his show. I loved and had a crush on the young Robert Redford but when Alan came into my life my crush turned to him and stayed there. Woo, where’s the fans.

    1. I was thinking about putting Redford in for my old school hottie, but I felt Brando was a little more macho.

  8. Hugh Jackman and Robert Downy Junior. And if you really like the Rock, you had better watch the Scorpion King. One of my favorites.

  9. This post reminds me of the crazy kids fainting over Frank Sinatra, then the Beetles, now it’s Beeber. Okay, I know, it’s not their bodies that turned them all to drink, it’s their music and characters. I never fit the mold. I was never one of those kids, I loved different kind of music, classical or the BeeGees. For me, with the guys, it’s not the brawn, but rather the brain. Lucky me, I have him, my brainy guy, a complete package.

  10. Bruce Willis. OMG I love him. Love. Since I was little and I saw Die Hard with a Vengence with my dad. Omg, seriously in love. Would be willing to get married tomorrow.

  11. I have loved Patrick Swazey since Dirty Dancing. My knees would go weak at the mention of his name. Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Richard Grieco are just a few of the others I wouldn’t turn away.

  12. I am certifiably obsessed with Joe Manganiello. I credit his 12 pack and other, um, attributes with inspiring my sorry butt back into the gym.

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