Step 1. Denial.
There’s no storm coming. It’s just going to rain. You people are being ridiculous. I am not filling my bathtub with water.
Step 2. Obsessively check the weather reports.
The European track show the path of Sandy smashing right into New England.
Step 3. Curse like a sailor.
Stupid @#$&ing hurricane.
Step 4. Throw out everything that might stink up fridge if the power goes out.
Bye bye haddock!
Step 5. Realize you have no food.
Stupid @#$&ing hurricane
Step 6. Go to the store where hundreds of panicky people are buying everything in sight.
Water! I need water!
Step 6. Buy supplies.
Ben and Jerry’s Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream. Check. Red velvet cupcakes. Check. Vodka. Check.
Step 7. Get home and realize that you really didn’t buy any food.
Step 8. Assure yourself that you can survive a week on alcohol and junk food.
Step 9. Scramble to find candles, lighter, flashlight and batteries.
Step 10. Spend ten minutes trying to remember the last time I saw those things.
I think I left the flashlight under the couch the last time I lost my keys.
Step 11. Start freezing random containers of water.
Step 12. Convince self that I’m ready for anything while praying that the whole thing passes us by.
What about you? How do you get ready?