Hello World – this one is really just for the ladies. Vivienne Lynge here. It’s Saturday morning – 7:00am. I had a hysterectomy less than 48 hours ago. Robotic assisted surgery is your friend.
Why am I announcing such a personal thing here in web-land you ask? One simple reason: we ladies tend not to talk about these kinds of personal things. I found that to be true years ago when Hubby Deluxe and I were going through a couple of rounds of in vitro fertilization. Not talking about it with your girlfriends and even acquaintances can suggest that you are hiding it because it’s shameful in some way.
Going through IVF was very difficult, emotionally. Especially when it didn’t work! I felt like the only woman in the world who couldn’t get pregnant. Which led to such helpful thoughts as, “Well, a woman who can’t get pregnant isn’t much of a woman at all is she?”
But you know what I realized well into our second round? I wasn’t the only one going through it, I was just the first of my circle. As I began talking about my experience, I found out that nearly ALL of my friends were also were trying to get pregnant too and having little success. By talking about it, we were able to help each other through the difficulties and the absurd, destructive thoughts that go through all of our heads at times like that. Being able to share our experiences with all the appointments, pills, peeing on sticks, wicked painful back flushing of the tubes (which nobody tells you is wickedly painful!), IUI, and IVF can take the fear and shame right out of a situation that is fraught with enough of its own drama.
So here I am again. I have endometriosis and have had severe monthly pain for years. Ladies, I want to tell you, if you have this condition and severe pain, don’t let your doctors poo-poo it as “well, everyone has cramps…” My gynocologist died a few years back, and instead of finding a new one, I’ve had my annual visit with my primary care doc. She’s wonderful, but not an expert in this area. The pain had gotten so bad late this spring, that I finally sought out a new Gyno. We talked options and that led to Thursday’s surgery.
You know what he told me yesterday? I was so messed up from the endometriosis that he and the nurses on the surgical team were astonished. When a nurse says, “Wow, that’s messed up!” You know you are in trouble. They didn’t know how I had been getting on all these years.
Thankfully they got me all/mostly cleaned up. I’m in some pain now, but frankly it’s not as bad as what I had experienced regularly before the surgery. I’m on the mend and looking forward to life a couple weeks down the road when I won’t have to worry about having my plans hijacked by pain.
Today’s secret: ladies, advocate for yourselves with the same intensity you would for your kids. Don’t simply accept the idea that being female should be painful. There are solutions out there.